Marriage: Saying “I do” to life decisions that will help you grow


an interconnected
or joined

Traditionally it meant
till death do us part

Today it means
we’ve got a 50/50 shot

I am not a role model
when it comes to marriage
for I’ve been married
three times

But I think I’m finally getting it
the third time must be the charm
although it is my hope and wish that for others
it lasts a lifetime

Marriage should be mutual
where both parties have the same level of connectedness
to each other

Connection can change throughout a marriage
people change

But I’ve always liked how Journey said it in a song,
“I get the joy of rediscovering you”

The cool thing about marriage
is that you get to fall in love
over and over again
with the same person

The problem is
most people quit
before they are able to get that far

I recently wrote on a young woman’s bridal shower card
the joy of marriage
is that you get to grow up
and grow whole

No one is perfect
but if we can learn to love other people’s imperfections perfectly
that is how we become whole

This doesn’t mean that we let the other person continue
to get away with things that may be bringing down the marriage
the partner or themselves

But it does mean we learn to truly respect each other’s
differences and boundaries

It does mean that we fight
to keep the marriage
as innocent
as possible

It means we practice empathy
trying to put ourselves in our partner’s shoes
again and again and again

Until we get back to that place
were we hold our partner’s dear
For anything that is sacred
goes in a circle

And if we quit in the middle of winter
we’ll never know the joy
and the warmth of spring

I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately
perhaps it’s because this is the time of year
when many young lovers
are taking the leap
into marriage

But what I’ve been thinking about
is that we get married
more than once
throughout our lives

Perhaps literally
but I’m talking metaphorically

We choose to get married decisions
to ways of being, acting, and living

For example
over the past eight to nine years
my family and I have been struggling to decide what church
to “get married to”

Also I’ve been struggling to decide
what kind of life style
to get married to

I’m all for flexibility

People change
people grow

But I’m also for developing deep roots
something to sink your beliefs into
so that when the storms of life come
you won’t be blown over

The problem is
how do you know
who or what to sink into?

Join me for this week’s topic:
marriage – it’s not just for couples

It is a mutual relationship of admiration and respect
where both parities fight to protect the innocents of the institution
where both parties demonstrate empathy
and hold each other dear
to the point were they become so entangled
so interconnected
there would be no way
to pull them apart

Until tomorrow
continue to search for inspiration
and share that inspiration with others

Peace and blessings!

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